priscilla | Forge Contact II

But you can't. That would mean--

[And then more silence as her duty wars with every other part of her.]

She was just a girl. How could you...

Except... that's a stupid question, isn't it? I shouldn't even be surprised.

Edited 2010-12-12 20:23 (UTC)

I was not going to take her life, but she changed.

She is something else, Priscilla. Something demonic.

[ And this much is the truth. Barring exposure of her similarity to the Abyss Feeders, Isley would have left Jennifer alive to pick up her pieces and skulk back to whatever dive she lived in. ]

You needn't fear, however. The duty will not fall upon you. I will spare you having to contaminate yourself any further... by taking my own life.

She-- what?

[...too much information at once. She opens her mouth to speak several times... and every time she can't come up with anything to say.

...until that last bit.]

What? You can't-- don't say that. Don't ever say that.

I have considered things already.

The guilt that you would feel if the task was left to you would be... too much. And the resentment you would feel towards others who might take the task upon themselves... would also be too great.

Therefore, this is the best way.

And it is the only way that I will not feel any resentment towards those that you love, as well. In the event I return at all, of course.

[ A soft sigh. ]

With so many inconsistencies, Priscilla... there is no way for me to become the man I want to be for you. No, perhaps that is incorrect. Perhaps there was never a way, no redemption to be had for a monster.

...but at least I can do this.

I suppose we will not be working together anymore, either.

Stop it. Stop it, I don't... I can't hear that. Don't say that.

[There's a snapping sound - something breaking in her hand. A spike of energy, quickly pulled back but not entirely suppressed.]

It won't do any good anyway. You'll just come back and--

What happened? Why did you do it? Why?

But at least there will have been some form of justice. An eye for an eye. Or, in this instance... my life for hers.

[ ... ]

What's done is done. Why should my reasons make a difference? They won't pardon me. I'm not deserving of a pardon, besides.

Of course it matters. I wouldn't ask if it didn't matter.

Isley. You have to tell me, you can't-- There are circumstances under which even I would kill someone, especially if they're-- You have to tell me.

[Silence. And then a sniffle.]

I want to say it's not like you to just kill. It's not like the you I... know. But then again maybe it is like you, and I don't really know you at all. That's what everyone else would say. And it's not as though I didn't know they might be right, but--

Are they?

[A little quiet, and she wipes her eyes, tries not to cry too much. ...mostly fails.]

You keep making me cry.

I loathe everything about her, including the fact that she seems... to be on good terms with Riful. And given that she's not human, given the beast she resembles, I can see why that might be.

Have I ever described to you what an Abyss Feeder is like, Priscilla?

[Oh, poke her beserker button. Her yoki surges to the point where her eyes flash, and she digs trails in her desktop with her fingernails.]

...no. You never talked about them much.

[One breath. Another. She pulls it back... mostly. But what remains is tumultuous, conflicted, and very unstable.]

I went looking for them a while ago, but I didn't find anything.

There is a reason I do not speak of them. Can you guess what it is?

Jennifer is very much like them when she changes. She lacks a discernible level of power, much like they lack yoki, and like them she reeks of old and fresh blood alike. She is a hollow thing, as much a creature of habit as they are, and her mouth... it is, without a doubt, that which is most like them.

Unhinged, disfigured and grotesque, possessed by countless sharp teeth...

Of course, similarities don't make her the same. My actions are still inexcusable.

I--

[She stops talking. And just.... keeps trying to breath. Evenly. Something about calming herself, even though she's not sure whether she's angry or sad, whether she wants to cry or hurt something.]

[Maybe both. A little. The crying is, in fact, still a problem.She runs her fingers over the splinted wood of her desktop.]

I'm sorry. I wish you hadn't had to see that. At home, or here. And I don't want anything like that anywhere near you, and I... I don't know.... what to--

Are you saying you killed her just because you didn't like her? Because she reminded you of something else?

You--

[...]

If you'd been here today, I was going to... ask about your health. Because the other night, when we were-- I mean, after the... anyway. I just... I noticed you were a little weak. Not that it showed! It's just that I can feel it, in your yoki. At least when I'm-- when I was-- close to you.

Are you... all right?

Edited 2010-12-13 06:19 (UTC)

That's part of it.

The rest... [ A dry chuckle that isn't really amused at all. ] It's funny you should mention my health.

I haven't been eating.

You might call it my attempt at... trying to regulate my dietary habits. I had hoped it would become easier to abstain, the way that it was back home, back when you and I were together.

That said, it seems I had hoped in vain. It isn't any easier at all.

But you know... I didn't so much as taste her, Priscilla. Not one drop; not one scrap of flesh. Not a thing, even though Luciela has also recognized my declining health, has already confronted me in regards to it, a veiled threat hidden amongst her words.

[ A pause. ]

[ And then, very softly... ]

Don't cry, Priscilla.

Please.

My hands aren't fit to brush your tears away.

But I can't help it. I wish-- but why would you--

[Too many thoughts all trying to get out at once. She pulls her knees to her chest.]

I always tried not to think about your--

I should have noticed. I thought you'd-- um! Come up with... [She shakes a little, and sniffles. And can't find words. As it turns out, this is still not something she can discuss, really.]

I should have noticed. Why did you stop?

I didn't want to cheat you.

...what?

You were never comfortable with that truth. You struggled with it, even.

How could I continue knowing that, in your heart of hearts, you were tormented by the very thought of what was happening?

You did it for me?

You didn't tell me.

...um. Obviously. But... you didn't tell me.

Already you carry the entire city upon your shoulders... the last thing I wanted to do was give you cause to worry more.

As you can see, however, I have failed miserably in this endeavor.

Let me make it right. I owe it to you.

Stop it!

[...and now the panicked voice is back.]

Stop saying that! Do you think you killing yourself is going to make me happy? Or... comfortable or... do you think it would make me do anything but cry myself sick?

Besides, if... if you did it because you were starving... and you were starving because of me, then... it's partially my fault, too. So if you're going to die, I should too. And I'm not killing myself so you can't either!

[THAT IS ABSOLUTELY LOGICAL. DON'T ARGUE WITH HER.]

Just stop it. I don't--

Don't you think I--

[And then, a frustrated little noise.]

Then what, Priscilla?

How do you propose we resolve this matter?

[ What other punishment is befitting enough if he can't be allowed to die? He would still starve if he were imprisoned, and really... what building in all Anatole (excluding parts of Dismas) could even contain him? ]

How can we prevent this from happening again...?

I don't... know. I know know.

But don't you think I've seen enough people I care about... die and disappear and... I can't. I--

[She sniffles again, and wipes her eyes... again.]

You have terrible timing. Not that there's ever a good time for something like that. It's just that... I was just starting to decide. And now I don't know what to believe anymore.

...I'm sorry, that sounds very self-centered.

You haven't a reason in all the world to apologize, least of all to me.

[ Softly, and in a considering tone, he adds... ]

This changes everything, of course. Knowing this, you can't allow me to remain on the Patrol, can you? And if they know, they will want to kill me.

I would rather not have to fight your friends, either, so...

Perhaps it is best we take some time apart from each other. Although that might make it worse. It's always worse when I'm away from you.

[Three beats of silence. And she would address the larger issue, really, she would except...]

I don't know whether to believe that either. How long were we even apart before you-- I couldn't have been any more with you than--

That's really... everything everything I have. I don't know... what else I can do. We can't be together all the time, even if it did help. And now I just... I don't know if I should be around you at all, ever again.

But I want you to live. Even if I can't be there to see it. But. I don't want you killing people either.

Don't take away my reason for trying, Priscilla.

You won't like the result.

I don't like--

[Slow, shaky breath.]

How can you put that on me?

I can't control you. I can't even keep your dark side... calmed. Do you even care about what you did, aside from its affect on us?

Do you care about anything here, aside from that?

Forge Contact II

MAN. Vash isn't her type, he's too... ...good at peace and love. /)_(\

Uses a gun, too. Although, he is hot...

:| The hair counteracts all possible hotness to me.

DON'T LOVE THE BRUSHCUT, A? WHY NOT.

IT IS SO RIDICULOUS I CAN'T EVEN...

And yet, it suits him... u_u

As a person who knows nothing of Trigun... I HAVE NO IDEA IF IT DOES!

I need to stop making D: faces when people confess not to have seen classics to me...

>.< I have seen/read almost no classics. TRUFAX.

shakes head disappointedly

I blame my upbringing. 9_9 also: she is LOOKING FOR A REASON TO FORGIVE THIS. OR TRY TO ANYWAY.

Oh, Priscilla...

SHE CANNOT HELP IT HER OBJECTIVITY IS COMPROMISED. Also she means the arena stuff.

...so he says.

:| GAG HIM. TAKE HIS TRAPS AWAY.

NEVAR!

HE DOESN'T NEED ALL THAT ROPE ANYWAY.

Of course he does. He needs to hang the fools that get in his way. :D

...bitch. SHE IS GOING TO EXPLODE LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE.

No splodey, PrisMiss! Funny enough, I had a dream last night about guts and gore...

CLEARLY A RESULT OF ISLEY EXPOSURE. Also I just got this notification wtf LJ.

CLEARLY. kicks LJ

ISLEY AND... FF7 AND... IDEK. /kicks ISLEY he has made the girl cry again

>_>;;

/)_(\

(no subject)

I love how he keeps that "if you go away I will DESTROY EVERYTHING" card handy all the time. 9_9

Yeah, he'll never let go of that card. Because it's so persuasive.

It is her big weak spot.

One step closer...

...to WHAT? RUINATION? >.<

To having all he desires. >> In the palm of his hand.

1/2 | Man. She was REAL close to cutting him off for a second there. BUT SHE DIDNT.

2/2!

Isley couldn't be more satisfied at the moment. It's like he just ate!

TAKE THE TRAPS AWAY and re: ooc note, sounds good! o/))