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Forge Contact II
You've reached Priscilla. Please leave your message as you prefer. I will absolutely return your contact, especially in the case of business concerns!
[...]
I'm sorry I left that terrible message up for so long!
[...]
I'm sorry I left that terrible message up for so long!
[beep!]
...business before petting! P-petting comes later. >.>
My point is... I can't ever let you die. The reasons are practical, and personal.
...you know the personal ones. [Her voice softens, for a moment.] I'm sure you do. [And then... back to business.]
But for the practical ones. I keep thinking, with someone like you... if you came back mad, the city might not survive the time it took to wear off.
If you came back and didn't remember me, that would be worse.
[Much worse. She watches her hands on her knees, now.]
Even just the risk is too much. But that... puts us in a very strange position, doesn't it? Because you can't be executed. You can't be imprisoned. Even in Dismas - if you were actually willing to kill yourself... anyone who dies just returns to the surface. They could only hold you as long as you chose to be held.
I was stuck on that for a long time. What to do.
no subject
Would the destruction of this city be as memorable as that of Pieta? Would the lights blinking out one by one be as beautiful to behold from the distance?
It was difficult to say without any who might appreciate the macabre attraction at his side. ]
I would suggest the alternative of imprisoning me here, in Dismas, however... [ His eyes open, boring into Priscilla's. ] ...I suspect this would also dissatisfy you. Certainly it would me, whether I was willing or not, although I suppose it would depend almost entirely upon the duration and terms of the imprisonment.
[ A beat. ]
That said, the point that you have made is beyond valid; we're stuck, for the moment, going around in circles, without a solution to either of our positions... and without a means of putting this behind us strictly for the sake of moving forward.
I dislike being stagnant, Priscilla... I would much rather come to some sort of compromise than grow inactive.
Something is better than nothing at all.
>.< Sorry for the inbox spam; I started nitpicking the phrasing and something had to give.
[She lifts her head, watching him closely. And her face is serious, for once, without its normal girlishness - the child hidden behind the warrior, and the person behind the leader.]
I'm not stupid. I try to think the best of you, because I want to, and because I... care about you. And, I guess, because I understand struggling with... dark things that... sometimes are more appealing than standing in the light. Because every time I use my power, I feel it pulling me in, and every time I feel it, I want to go. A little more than I did the last time. It gets really...
...well. My point is, I guess I could relate. A little. But I'm still not stupid.
And... I was thinking. All this time, every time you've said you wanted to change, or wanted... redemption. You never said it was for you, or for principle. Just for me. You never even denied it when I asked.
[Her face remains calm. Instead, the tension in her body finds its way to her hands, which clench a little, tightening into fists.]
Then I thought... even if you were starving, it probably couldn't bring out something that isn't in you. It probably only made it harder to avoid... the things you wanted to do anyway. And then I thought... maybe the only reason you haven't been doing these things this entire time is because you didn't want me to go away.
Is that right?
[...]
You may as well tell me. It won't change what I say... or do, or offer you.
[...probably.]
Don't worry about it~! S-sorry that this has turned into an essay...
[ From the bed Isley rises, an imperial look in his eyes, and in the manner in which he holds himself. ]
It's not as though I actively seek the destruction of Anatole. As remarkable as I am sure it would be, the city would heal in almost the same way that you or I do. Before I could lay to waste the entire foundation it would simply begin restoring itself, little by little. And, as tempting as it would be to level everything in order to see it rise on its own from the ashes, I'm not in any hurry to uselessly expend my energy to no avail.
[ A slight tilt of his head, silver hair tumbling over his shoulders. ]
Or is it that you think I would deliberately go out of my way to harm people here? Have you considered what I would have to gain from that? Because, my dear Priscilla, I can tell you now... there's nothing. Nothing at all.
[ He begins to pace, from one side of the room to the other, each step slow and deliberate, buying him time to choose his words carefully, to formulate in his mind his argument. ]
I absolutely want you to remain at my side, yes, of course. I would be mad if I did not want this. There are several reasons aside from the obvious, that I love you. That I would die for you if need be; have in the past, and would do so again... anything for you. However, I would be a fool to deliberately drive you away when you are the only ally that I have in this city. Without you I stand alone surrounded by countless adversaries. Luciela and Riful, the other warriors from the Organization, Jennifer, and who knows who else.
I dare say, Aizen could become problematic... but that is less a concern of yours, and more a private matter of mine.
[ Dismissively he waves his hand, then turns to face Priscilla once more, hands dropping, but held out to either side of him, palms exposed in a gesture of candor. ]
Nevertheless, you can see where I stand. I have never gone out of my way to hide anything from you. Not my nature, not what motivates me, not even my mistakes. I have been very forthright with you, and I will continue to be.
You are my reason for everything.
[ The sun at the center of his universe. What warms him... and what could just as easily destroy him. ]
I will never be perfect... In fact, there is no doubt in my heart that I am, in your eyes, more flawed than any man could ever be, simply due to what I am. But there is nothing in this world, or any other that may exist, that is without flaws, Priscilla. Nothing.
Everyone makes mistakes. The act of redemption is not something that can occur in the bat of an eye. It takes time. Perseverance. A heart that will remain steadfast... in order to keep me from diverging.
After all... I am too far gone to do this on my own.
SHUT UP, that was AWESOME... I'M. SO. SORRY. I KEPT THINKING SHE SHOULD ASK, BUT I FORGOT, AAH!)
[Nothing clears her mind like a dangerous situation. Particularly if she isn't the one under the greatest threat.]
[All right then. A steadying breath.]
I'm not trying to argue with you. I just need to know... what I'm dealing with.
It's not that I think you'd just kill everything for no reason. [Not necessarily. The truth is she wasn't - isn't - sure about that.] ...but I think you like to hurt people. Even if you wouldn't do it just to do it, I think you like it, when you do.
And I...
[Her hands turn over, nails digging just slightly into her knees.]
I don't know if I'd say I think you're... flawed exactly. You are what you are. I already knew that... even if I didn't really know what it meant entirely, I knew what it might mean.
And... I don't really want to be your reason for everything. That's... a lot to put on me.
[...]
Do you regret it? For any reason other than... because we ended up here, having this talk?
...did you kill Sakura, too?